Random Musing #9: Why "liberals" get bent over Sudha Murthy’s spoons

“There’s no spoon. It’s you who are getting bent.”

In The Matrix, during a pivotal scene, a young “potential” – one of those who can see the real nature of the perceived universe and all its creation as opposed to those enslaved by the simulacrum of the programmed reality created by the machines – explains to Thomas Anderson that to be free, one must understand the truth and does so using a very interesting culinary (and plot) device. The young man tells Mr. Anderson: “Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try and realise the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see, it's not the spoon that bends but only yourself.”

Now that’s a piece of advice that’d work really well for our “liberal” brethren and sistren, who were, quite recently, completely bent out of shape by Sudha Murthy’s spoon.

For the uninitiated and those who stay away from X (the hellhole formerly known as Twitter), Sudha Murthy set the non-veg cats among the proverbial pigeon when she said on Kunal Vijaykar’s show (which seems to be the fount of all gustatory outrages in this country including Ranbir’s beef comments): “I am afraid to eat outside. I am a pure vegetarian. I don't even eat onion or garlic. I am scared of thinking that people would eat using the same spoon. In fact, I carry a full bag full of eating material.”

What followed was the kind of outrage that ensures that Elon Musk can share the Twitter pie with every idiot who has a blue tick (sadly, not yours truly, since he didn’t have enough impressions). Some of the reactions ranged from wondering if she could hug her meat-eating son-in-law and the Prime Minister of Great Britain to accusations of full-blown casteism (even though she never really asked anyone to stop eating anything and simply expressed her own desire to eat with her own spoon).

Interestingly, it’s only the culinary choices of some Hindus that are met with such vehemence, even though there are many other religions, including Islam and Judaism, which has similarly strict dietary rules.

But it’s only Hindu religious practices that are kosher for targeting, most usually by a group of highly anglicised upper-caste Hindus who seem to hate every aspect of their identity beyond reason and who are quick to blame everything – from global warming to the success of Oppenheimer in India – to Hindutva.

None of this is to say caste doesn’t exist – these days it’s become impossible to explain to people that just because one holds an “X” view on something which might align with a particular group – doesn’t mean that one agrees with every single core view of the group. For example, just because I think the PM’s shirt-outside-jacket look is sartorially stupid, doesn’t mean I disagree with every single thing he says - though one must admit that “hard work more important than Harvard” is a great line to repeat to one’s mother who is constantly in a state of despair because of her son’s non-existent academic credentials.

But I digress. I find it interesting how so many folks – who are constantly crying for more feminist icons – find different ways to umbrage about Sudha Murthy. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that her worldview, religiosity, looks, or ethos don’t match their idea of a modern feminist woman even though, by all accounts, Sudha Murthy is a trailblazing feminist, who gave funds to kickstart one of the world’s biggest IT companies, at a time when kickstarting meant kicking a scooter that you’d gotten after standing in line for 3 years.

Her achievements include winning gold medals in Electrical Engineering from BVB College of Engineering, Hubli, and ME in Computer Science from the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore, especially at a time when most engineering schools had sex ratios similar to today's sex ratios in Mechanical Engineering classes. She became the first female engineer hired by India's TELCO when she wrote a letter to the legendary JRD Tata questioning their men-only policy. 

She’s also a prolific writer in several languages and has done pathbreaking work with the Infosys Foundation in public hygiene, poverty alleviation, healthcare, and education, including building numerous houses, libraries, and toilets. She was also recently appointed to the NCERT panel, aimed at preparing the new textbooks, again to the chagrin of her critics who wondered why she was there.

If we are measuring achievments, most of her critics have written a few monotonous op-eds and Twitter threads. Hell, if she made more quips, she would give Tony Stark a run for her money.

And to top it off, her son-in-law is Great Britain’s first Hindu Prime Minister, a man who proudly claims his Hindu heritage, even on the anniversary of one of Britain’s greatest humiliations, AKA, India’s Independence Day.

As a Twitter user put it: “All bhikhari Leftists, who are trolling #SudhaMurthy for her food choices, would be the first to genuflect before her and sing her bhajans if there were a possibility of getting a couple lakhs from the Infosys Foundation as a grant!”

Perhaps, a Narendra Modi victory back in 2014 has triggered an unmitigated mental health crisis in the country’s population, particularly the anglicised elite, and now must make do with whatever imaginary crises they can find, including a septuagenarian’s spoon.

Feminism at its core is about choice, but it’s one that our “liberal” sistren and brethren seem to forget when non-Left women are involved. Either way, the next time someone accuses a vegetarian of being casteist, one ought to apply what I like to call the Frying Bacon Hypothesis.

What’s the Frying Bacon Hypothesis?

Anytime you wonder if your free will infringes on another person’s free will, ask yourself this question: Is it kosher to cook bacon in front of your Muslim neighbour’s house during Ramadan? Any sane person will say No.

However, if someone were to quietly eat bacon in one’s own house without forcing the smell on one’s neighbour, would it be alright? Most people would say Yes. 

The same goes for Sudha Murthy’s dietary choices, where she isn’t forcing anyone to be vegetarian. The fact is that if you are a lifelong vegetarian, you could probably pick up the scent or even the aftertaste of egg or meat on a spoon long after it has been washed.

However, by shoving crude caste-related epithets on her table, they are acting up, much like the unruly neighbour who wants to vitiate the atmosphere for his Muslim neighbour.

That’s the only way “liberals” that love reading alternate fanfic about Hindu gods but tie themselves into Gordian knots to explain why rank fundamentalism is liberalism when another religion is discussed will understand this particular predicament and that Sudha Murthy is, by no stretch of the imagination, a casteist.

And perhaps when my “liberal” friends get bent out of shape thinking about Murthy’s spoons or whatever dietary preference of Hindus that they consider “casteist”, they should remember the young potential’s sagacious words: “There’s no spoon. It’s you who are getting bent.”